Technically, it's the start of day number three, so I don't know if it's fair to say "plus three" already. Anyway, everything I've read and watched says that stress and worry impede and prevent labor, so I'm trying really hard to be relaxed. Relaxing is difficult, though. There are certain things that have been getting to me. The biggest one is losing my leave days. I signed up for a full twelve weeks in hopes that I would get as much of that time with Bethany as possible. I know I'm just starting week number two, but it's hard not wishing that I had scheduled things differently or had somehow known that I would go over my due date.
A lot of phone calls have poured in over the last few days and I think after a while, my family could hear the agitation in my voice. The phone calls are great, but getting the same questions over and over again hasn't been easy for me, especially when I don't know how to answer them. (I don't mind the calls . . . it's the questions I can't answer that get to me.) I know that everyone wants to be as loving and supportive as they can be, so I'm praying I can be more gracious.
Yesterday, we spent a good amount of time walking around Target and then I made Marcus nervous by insisting on using our step ladder to do stepping exercises. (I never took my hands off of the handle and just stepped up and down off of the bottom step - nothing perilous.) I worked up a slight sweat, but not labor.
Marcus is headed back to work today and has given me instructions to call the moment I feel one painful contraction. Oh, how I am praying and hoping for those painful contractions. Or for any contractions that last longer than two hours. Or for my water to break. Sigh.
Last night, I read a Facebook status update that gave a child's description of patience as "waiting with a happy heart". I'm praying for my heart to be happy while waiting today.