Break Down!
Wow. I had quite the morning. Bethany had an appointment at 9:45am and when she went back to sleep after her morning feeding, I decided to stay up and get everything ready so we would be good to go. Well, things were going well until I got completely LOST! Usually I see her pediatrician in Oviedo, but this appointment was scheduled in Maitland and somehow I got completely confused. I had to call Marcus in tears (my sweet Bethany was also crying!) and have him come find us! I felt really stupid, but was such an emotional wreck that I couldn't even use the map application on my iPhone to help guide me home. Again, it was quite the morning.
Anyway, the afternoon was much calmer and Bethany's appointment was rescheduled for today at 2pm which was nice. Our sweet baby girl definitely has reflux, but she's a "happy spitter", (She spat up three nice puddles right on the exam table with no fussiness.) so no medication or change of diet is necessary. We're sticking with breast milk! She's also gaining weight well. At six weeks she weighs in at 11 pounds!
Today I counted every single day that I will be working. It sounds crazy, but it helps me with my separation anxiety. Each month from January through June, I work less than 20 days except for one. 115 work days. 14 paychecks. 19 days off - not including weekends. Looking at it this way, I seem to have a pretty sweet deal as far as a career and being a mom goes. Still, I was wondering today what it would look like if we were to really try and make it on one income. After using this calculator From Dave Ramsey's site http://www.kiplinger.com/tools/managing/afford.html the results we found were a little unnerving.
Could we do it? I think so, but we'd have to make some big changes.
Is that the wisest choice for our family at this time? Probably not. It's not just about fitting in luxuries either . . . it's about having solid financial peace for our family.
And then also, am I willing to let my career go, knowing that the income I make would easily cushion any type of emergency and will help make sure our savings accounts stay in tact and grow? (Some people believe that emergencies will not happen to them . . . but Marcus and I have had our share! I had a very scary emergency room visit earlier this year and Marcus's Explorer's airconditioning unexpectedly gave out and had to be fixed before Bethany arrived. Both big hits!) I also know of so many people desperate for jobs right now. I think about that as well. My own mother has even told me that I'm not allowed to up my position as an educator. Haha.
I do believe what's right for one family may not be what's right for another. I read all these discussions on online message boards and both groups of moms just seem to be trying to justify themselves over the other and attempting to prove why their way is better. It is annoying to me. Can't women just support each other? I totally admire stay at home moms. The job is so demanding and all consuming. I also totally admire working moms. Especially ones that do their career and home life well. A career and family is a lot to balance!
All I know is that I love, love, love my family. I want what's best for my husband and my daughter. My prayers are for not only financial peace, but a peace about work. There is a lot of processing and preparing that I'm doing to make it as painless as possible for both me and Bethany. (Although, her pediatrican told me today that she will be absolutely fine and that I'm the one for whom it will be most difficult.) I've got some test run baby sitting days coming up and we'll be running through morning routines by the end of the month. Keep us in your prayers!